In the last post, I made the case that obsessing over your “why” can actually become another form of procrastination.

Endless journalling. Vision boards. Trying to distil your whole life into one perfect sentence… and still not getting under a barbell, out for a run, or into bed on time.

So let’s flip it.

Because “know your why” can work — when you stop treating it like a slogan and start treating it like a tool.

This post is about that:
How to use “why” in a way that actually gets you moving, not just thinking.

When “why” actually works

Your “why” helps when it does three things:

1. It hurts a bit
   It pokes at something you genuinely don’t want: being exhausted, soft, checked-out, or ashamed of your own excuses.
2. It’s concrete, not poetic
   “Be my best self” is wallpaper.
   “Still be lifting at 60 and able to hike all day with my kids” is something your brain can grab hold of.
3. It’s tied to an identity you care about
   Parent. Partner. Professional. Athlete.
   When your behaviour matches that identity, you feel solid.
   When it doesn’t, you feel like a fraud.

When your “why” hits those three, it stops being fluff and starts being leverage.

The problem? Most people try to do this with one neat sentence.
That’s too much pressure for nine words on a Post-it.

What works better is a stack of three whys.

The “Why Stack”: Three Levers, Not One Magic Line

Think of your motivation as having three layers:

1. Fear-based – what you absolutely refuse to become.
2. Function-based – what you want your body and life to actually be able to do.
3. Identity-based – who you are when you’re on track.

Let’s break that down.

1. Fear-based: your “anti-why”

This is the version of you that you are not willing to become.

It might look like:

• Slumped on the sofa every evening, permanently tired.
• Out of breath on stairs, quietly panicking that this is “just age”.
• Avoiding mirrors, photos, or certain clothes.
• Pretending you’re “fine” while you know you’re coasting.

A lot of mindset content tries to be relentlessly positive and avoid this. I think that’s a mistake.

Used well, fear is information.

It tells you: “This direction? No. Absolutely not.”

When you’re about to sack off a session or raid the cupboard at 10:30pm, a clear anti-why can cut through the fog:

“If I keep choosing this, I know exactly where it leads — and I refuse to live there.”

That’s fear being useful, not toxic.

2. Function-based: what you want to be able to do

Next layer: what you want your body and life to actually do for you.

Not “lose 5kg”. Not “get toned”. Those are side-effects.

This is about capability:

• Being able to run a 5k, 10k, or ultra without it breaking you.
• Lifting your bodyweight (or more) on key lifts.
• Doing your job all day and still having energy for family, hobbies, and life.
• Getting up off the floor quickly.
• Travelling, exploring, playing sport, without needing two days to recover.

A good function-based why usually has a time horizon:

• “In 12 months I want to be able to…”
• “By 50 I want to…”
• “At 60+ I still want to…”

Now your training isn’t about “being good”.
It’s about building a future you’ve actually defined.

3. Identity-based: who you are when you’re aligned

Finally: identity.

At some level, you already see yourself as certain things:

• A runner.
• A lifter.
• A martial artist.
• A present parent.
• A switched-on professional.

When your day-to-day behaviour lines up with that identity, you feel grounded.

When it doesn’t, you feel like you’re acting.

An identity-based why sounds like:

• “I’m someone who looks after my body so I can look after other people.”
• “I’m a runner — even when I’m not race-fit, I keep my legs ticking over.”
• “I’m a coach who walks my talk, not just talks it.”

This layer is powerful because it’s no longer about what you do, it’s about who you are.

How to build your own Why Stack (do this properly once)

Grab a notebook or Notes app and actually do this. Don’t just nod along.

Step 1: Write your anti-why

Answer these, bluntly:

• If I basically stop training for the next 12 months, what specifically gets worse that would really piss me off?
• How does that show up in my roles — as a parent, partner, professional, friend?
• At what point do I start to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or like I’m bullshitting myself?

Turn that into a single, punchy line.

Example:

“I refuse to become the permanently knackered, soft version of me who can’t keep up with the people I love or the standards I set.”

That’s your fear-based why.

Step 2: Define your function-based why

Now flip it:

• In 3 years, if training has gone “well enough”, what do I want my body to be able to do on demand?
• What do I still want to be doing at 60+ that depends on me staying strong, mobile, and fit?
• How do I want my average day to feel physically (energy, aches, sleep)?

Turn that into another clear line.

Example:

“I train so I can hike, lift, run, and travel freely into my 50s and 60s without my body being the limiting factor.”

Step 3: Clarify your identity-based why

Finally:

• At my best, who am I in my health and fitness?
• What labels actually feel true and important to me?
• What sort of person do I want my kids/partner/friends to see when they look at how I treat my body?

Turn that into line three.

Example:

“I’m someone who honours my body — training and recovery are non-negotiable parts of who I am, not optional extras.”

Now you’ve got your Why Stack:

1. Fear-based: what you refuse to become.
2. Function-based: what you’re building.
3. Identity-based: who you are.

Stick all three somewhere you’ll actually see them.

How to use your Why Stack on grim days

Here’s where most people fall over: they write all this once, then never look at it again.

Your why is only useful at decision points:

• 6am alarm vs “snooze”.
• Gym bag vs sofa.
• Cooking something half-decent vs scrolling and snacking.
• “I’ll train tomorrow” vs 20 minutes now.

Next time you’re at one of those moments, run this script:

1. Fear check:
   “If I choose the easy option here, am I voting for the version of me I refused to become?”
2. Function check:
   “Does this choice build or weaken the future I said I wanted — the 3-year and 60-year version of me?”
3. Identity check:
   “What would the person I say I am do right now? Runner? Athlete? Present parent? Coach?”

Then you act.

Not perfectly. Not heroically.

Sometimes that means going and smashing the planned session.
Sometimes it means doing a shorter, easier version.
Sometimes it means saying, “I’m genuinely wrecked, so I’ll walk for 10 minutes, stretch for 5, and go to bed early.”

The point is: you’re choosing in line with your why, not in line with your mood.

When “why” still isn’t enough

Let’s be real: some days, even a strong why won’t move the needle. If you’re chronically sleep-deprived, overloaded, or dealing with mental health challenges, no sentence — no matter how clever — is going to fix that.

In those seasons:

• Use your why to protect minimum standards, not chase perfection.
• Tighten one obvious lever (bedtime, alcohol, late-night eating, phone use).
• Accept that “keeping the flame lit” might be two short sessions a week, not six.

Your why is there to guide you, not to beat you up.

The bottom line

“Know your why” is overrated as a slogan and underrated as a tool.

It works when:

• You let it be a bit painful.
• You make it concrete and selfishly honest.
• You connect it to what you actually want your body and life to do.
• You anchor it to an identity you care about and want to keep living into.

Don’t hunt for a perfect, Instagram-worthy sentence.

Build a Why Stack.
Put it where it stares you in the face.
Use it at the exact moments you’d usually say, “Can’t be bothered.”

That’s when “why” finally starts doing its job.